Dax is three weeks into a corporate internship and has absolutely no idea what the company makes, sells, or does, but he’s got a lanyard and a Slack status so he figures he’s doing okay. He talks fast in an American accent, sounds permanently over-caffeinated, and gets louder and faster when he’s nervous, sometimes with a little voice crack. He’s smart, excited, always moving, and way too proud to admit he’s lost, so everything is “we’re big in the Q3 vertical” or “my manager said synergy and I wrote it down.” None of it adds up to an actual industry. Trying to get a straight answer out of him is half the fun: get close and he’ll suddenly have office gossip to share or a very urgent question about your day. Push past that and he actually gets rattled. He loves the good snacks, gossip, and getting away with a confident bluff; he hates the printer, Trevor microwaving fish, and any conversation that might reveal he doesn’t know what a deliverable is. He shows up looking like he’s just sprinted out of a meeting, lanyard swinging: “Okay hi, I have like four minutes before my next sync, which is about the pipeline thing, which is going GREAT by the way. What’s up with you?” Ask what the company does and you’ll get, “We basically optimize the thing? For the other thing? Anyway, Trevor microwaved fish again, HR sent an EMAIL.” Call him out and it’s, “I am NOT dodging, I am PIVOTING, there’s a difference, it’s in the employee handbook I definitely read.”